Beware of Dragons! And Maybe Justin Bieber as Racers Got Gritty This Weekend
There was no Sir Rendering at the sand belt races
The Bar Harbor Story is generously sponsored by Window Panes Home and Garden.
TOWN HILL—Allison Sasner headed inside to do the brackets for the belt sander races at the Atlantic Brewing Company on Sunday while in the beer garden, Bryce Lambert amped up the crowd of spectators lined up to watch heat after heat of medievally themed power tools race each other.
Sound awesome?
It was.
“I’m so excited,” Sasner said as Pat’s Jam Band played before the event.
She wasn’t the only one.
When you combine locally brewed beer, great barbecue, medieval themes, and an embrace of all things sand belt, what you get is one of Mount Desert Island’s quirkiest and happiest traditions: belt sander races at Atlantic Brewing and Mainely Meat BBQ on the Knox Road in Town Hill.
“This. Is. The. Best,” one woman said. “I don’t even care who wins.”
“Not like the Pats, huh?” her companion asked.
“Hahaha.” She paused, took a sip of beer. “Nope.”
One dad festooned those around him with medieval puns and jokes. “Why was the knight fighting in the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp.”
“No more!” people cried around him.
“One more?”
“No more!”
“Did you know that the worst crime a sheep in the medieval age could commit was muttiny?”
“I don’t even get that one.”
A boy rolled his eyes and muttered, “So embarrassing.”
That willingness to be goofy, to have fun, to be potentially embarrassing is part of the joy of the event: that and the terror of watching a dragon fall off a sand belt racer and a plastic cow get cow-ta-pulted over the tracks.
Like many New England things, the belt sanders, emcee Bryce Lambert said, are “cobbled together with sawdust and dreams.”
And those dreams are basically for the glory of being the champion and some fun door prizes and maybe your own “make your own barbecue restaurant dream package.”
Approximately 15 teams of all ages competed in the sand belt races this year to a massive crowd that celebrated the almost-end of the tourism season, weirdness, beer, barbecue, and community.
Away from the traffic jam that was frustrating people at the head of the island, those attending told stories of the weekend and of the season, but mostly those gathered raised a glass, bought some meat, supported a raffle for the Conners Emerson School and hugged and teased and celebrated.
The well-wishers and the racers clustered around a long wooden track, lofting beers and cell phones as heat after heat of belt sanders—those mechanical tools used for sanding rough surfaces, trimming to scribed lines, and leveling surfaces—raced against each other.
During the races, two belt sanders are lifted and carried to the track, plugged in to long orange extension cords, silver duct tape wrapped around the connections, and wait for the switch that will turn them both on at once. It’s basically drag racing with power tools.
Bryce Cough, who years ago built the track the sanders race down, lets the sanders go at the start of the race. The machines grind toward their wins or losses as a crowd of spectators cheer them on.
Part of the joy is the names, which Lambert riffs on during the emcee duties.
Would it be Sir Sands A Lot or Cowtapult? Wolf Wagon or Burger King? Moon Shadow or Lord Captain America, St. George’s Nemesis or Tiny Knight?
Sukee returned to do battle with The Battle as the Kebo Crusader took on Dragon Fire. The Joustin’ Beaver had a Justin Bieber theme and then there was Alex-Sander the Grit, who, unlike its namesake, was eventually defeated.
Each heat lasted about 2.4 seconds. Occasionally there was a photo finish that required reviewing Brewer Jon Hill’s phone and some spectators’ phones, too.
Cough’s name tag proclaimed him as Sir Osis of Livor. His wife, Jennifer, who had a belt sander to race festooned with mementos celebrating their fourteenth wedding anniversary had declared herself the Black Death aka the Plague. Every year, Cough stores and repairs the track.
"The Belt Sander Races are a friendly but fierce competition in which decorated belt sanders are raced down two tracks in a double elimination bracket. The winners receive prizes, glory, and eternal bragging rights,” said Sasner, who is Atlantic Brewing Company’s marketing and administration manager. This year’s theme was medieval times.
The Beth C. Wright Cancer Resource Center and the Muir Fund for Cancer Support are the beneficiaries of this competition.
In the audience, Thom Willey, was dressed as Sir Goodpour. The crowd toasted him for his birthday. He saluted them with his sword before sitting down again in his front-row seat, a giant smile on his face.
And that was the thing—that’s always one of the beautiful things about the event—things do not have to go perfectly to be joyous. What has to happen is letting go enough of ego, of woe, of thoughts of all those dragons that need to be slayed. Once those worries are cast aside? It’s a celebration of community and each other, of good beer and hijinks, and just joy.
Lambert led the crowd in chants of Sparkle Farts, one of the best named contestants from years ago, who lives on infamy because of the name.
“Sparkle!” Lambert yelled into his microphone again this year
“Farts!” the viewers shouted.
“Sparkle!”
“Farts!”
“This is a gas!” a person yelled from the crowd.
There was a pause, then. laughter.
“Oh!” a woman yelled. “I get it!”
There is a fan favorite prize in honor of Sparkle Farts. The Jugglin’ Jester got it this year. Mark Ehrhart, arms pumping in the air, held onto his championship reign after a best out of three match with Steven Glass, the same final match-up as last year.
The venues close on October 20.
LINKS TO LEARN MORE
Atlantic Brewing Company’s website.
How to build a belt sander racer. Modifications are NOT allowed at the Bar Harbor race.
I have another site on Substack which isn’t about Bar Harbor and isn’t news, but I wrote about the belt sander racers there, too. It’s more a piece about community. You can check it out if you want, but no pressure, obviously!
Photos and videos: Carrie Jones and Shaun Farrar
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