More Than a Million Gone
Local Memorial Day Observances and Thoughts
MOUNT DESERT ISLAND—All the way back in 1868, a young girl wrote a New York official a note. In it, she asked for the city official to place a garland on the grave of an unknown Confederate soldier. Her own father, she said, was buried all the way in Georgia. She wanted, she hoped, she prayed that “some other little girl” would do the same for her own dad’s grave.
Memorial Day began as a way to honor the dead not as a three-day weekend that celebrated summer, but as a date for remembering and mourning, a date for little girls to implore officials to do something kind.
According to a NYT article by Livia Albeck-Ripka, “The holiday grew out of the Civil War, as Americans — Northern, Southern, Black and white — struggled to honor the staggering numbers of dead soldiers, at least 2 percent of the U.S. population at the time. Several places lay claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. One of the earliest accounts comes from Boalsburg, Pa., where, in October 1864, three women are said to have placed flowers and wreaths on the graves of men who had died serving the Union during the Civil War.”
The Civil War dead were almost everywhere, in towns and cities across the United States. The observances were called Decoration Day and had an official start in 1868 when Gen. John A. Logan wanted a day to honor those who had died in the war. As there were more and more conflicts and wars there were more dead. Eventually, the day became for those who died serving the country, not just those who died in the Civil War.
Mr. Logan wrote that the day should be “designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country.”
Sewall Chan in another article for the Times wrote, “David W. Blight, a historian at Yale, has a different account. He traces the holiday to a series of commemorations that freed black Americans held in the spring of 1865, after Union soldiers, including members of the 21st United States Colored Infantry, liberated the port city of Charleston, S.C.”
The tradition continued no matter where it began.
Back in 1957, Bar Harbor had a parade, sponsored by the George Edwin Kirk Post of the American Legion that marched down Cottage Street to Main Street and to the pier and back up Main Street to Mount Desert and back to the Legion.
Just in 2023, Ellsworth had a Memorial Day Parade. It’s been cancelled this year.
According to the Bangor Daily News’ Bill Trotter, “The parade is normally organized by the local Veterans of Foreign Wars chapter, Post 109, but someone fell ill and participants could not be lined up this year, city officials have said.”
Still, there is an effort to do something.
“We are rallying the troops and meeting at 9:30 at the library to all walk together to the wreath ceremony and then our own parade to the bridge,” Sarah Bowden posted on Facebook. “Contact us at communitycloset207@gmail.com for any questions. Be Ellsworthy! It’s never too late.”
Remember Those Who Served and Those Who Have Died
Even when there is a parade, Memorial Day is often something more quiet than other national holidays. A boy might brush the dust off an aunt’s grave. A flag is planted next to a tomb. A wreath is flown into the water as flags are flown high. One high school student might sing a song on a pier.
When I first realized what Memorial Day really meant, I was in Manchester, New Hampshire. One of my dads never talked about his service in World War II. He was a quiet man with an easy laugh. He was the kind of man who always could do anything. That’s how it seemed to me. He hardly ever cried, hardly ever got mad. He liked fishing and building. He liked coffee and cigarettes and steamers. He loved his family and his friends and his boat.
He wasn’t the kind of man who cried.
I saw him do it twice. The first time was when his brother, Freddie, died all the way down in Florida. The second time was on Memorial Day.
We were at a parade. The veterans were marching. My dad never marched with them. I don’t know why. A high school band was playing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I was holding my dad’s hand and all of a sudden he let go. My hand dangled empty. He turned away, took three steps back from the crowd of the road, and faced the buildings.
“Daddy?”
He pressed his fingers into his eyelids. He nodded once. “What sweetie?”
“Are you okay?”
He wiped his eyes just once with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Are you sad?”
He half-shrugged. “A little bit.”
I’d only just really learned what the Memorial Day parade was about. From school I knew it was about soldiers who died in war. I knew my dad had been in a war, a big war. I made the connection.
“Did you have soldier friends who died?” I asked.
“A lot, baby. A lot.”
Our fingers found each other. We walked back to the crowd.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Me too.”
Memorial Day Is About More
Memorial Day began as Decoration Day after the Civil War. It earned federal holiday status in 1971. Memorial Day is more than the beginning of the summer vacation season. It’s more than a day off of work and school. Memorial Day is about the friends, husbands, wives, lovers, children, brothers, and sisters who didn’t make it home.
Well over a million Americans have died while serving the United States. Each of them had homes. Each of them had stories cut short by war.
Seven Handsome Otis Men
Sometimes soldiers make it back. Sometimes pieces of them stay behind. And sometimes when they are gone, communities hold their collective breath when they return.
There weren’t a lot of people at the Otis town meeting back in 2010, but you could tell that they were a patriotic bunch. They filed into the Beech Hill School, one Saturday morning, sat in the folding chairs and waited for the meeting to start. There were a few flag lapel pins. There was a gentle hum in the air, but I’m having a hard time focusing.
On the front of the Otis Annual Report were the pictures of seven handsome men.
Some of them were smiling at the camera.
Some of them looked serious.
But these sons of Otis had a couple things in common:
All of them looked proud.
All of them were in uniform.
All of them weren’t home.
The faces of Michael Manheim, Justin Smith, Steven Wiesner, William Dunn, Ike King, Joseph Cammack, and Jason Fishburn stared back at the voters. Michael and Steven were in the Navy. Justin and Joseph were in the Army. Jason was a Marine. William was in the Air National Guard and Ike was in the US Air Force.
Just seeing their picture made some eyes tear up a little bit. Just seeing their pictures made some murmur and talk about how these Otis young adults made the stories of their lives about service, about putting everything on the line for us, all of us, even the politicians.
The Otis Annual Report read, “Let’s Honor Our Local Soldiers…. No matter where you are serving, our thoughts and prayers are with you.”
Town meetings, though occasionally cantankerous, are part of what makes New England government and communities special. We wouldn’t have that though if it weren’t for men like Michael, Justin, Steven, William, Ike, Joseph, and Jason. Without them (and the men and women before them) risking their lives, leaving their families, working 24-7 in dangerous places, there could potentially not even be freedom of the press.
These men were heroes, real heroes.
On that Saturday morning we all saw their faces and I realized how my story, and the story of Otis, and the story of Bar Harbor, and Mount Desert, and Ellsworth, and all of our communities, would be different if it wasn’t for men and women like them.
Memorial Day is Personal
Many of us have relatives or friends or community members who have served. We may not know all of their stories, but we know some. A lot of our loved ones have lost fellow service people.
I know Em's story by heart because that soldier, that officer actually, is my daughter and she just came back from a short deployment last week. I know all the bits of her life that make her something much bigger than a demographic or a statistic. The same thing goes for former Bar Harbor firefighter Josh Farrar who has deployed multiple times. They are two family members with incredibly different stories, but who both served and both know fellow soldiers who have died.
The Bar Harbor Story has had features about Bob Lombardi recently, about Robert Moore, but there are so many stories of Mount Desert Island soldiers still yet to be told.
Not all soldiers are alike and neither are their stories. But many of them were, and are, willing to stand for a Constitution and way of life that they believe in so much that they'll battle for it and even die for it.
The least we can do is fight for it in our own ways, too, make it better, preserve its best parts, and build it up together. The least we can do is remember the sacrifices that have happened, the deaths, the potential for more deaths.
I don’t know how I can ever say thank you to all our veterans, but I know that I have to try now and keep trying, possibly for the rest of my life. I don’t know how I can honor the grief of all of those families and friends who have lost someone to war. But the least we can do is notice the lack of a parade or stand there in silence as a wreath is thrown. The least we can do is notice a memorial on Cottage Street just past the grocery store. The least we can do is what Sarah is doing in Ellsworth, gathering together, walking and witnessing. I hope you’ll join me in that, in the noticing and in the remembering.
So, thank you, Michael, Justin, Steven, William, Ike, Joseph, and Jason.
And Em and Josh.
And Bob and Robert.
Thank you to all the men and women whose names I do not know and those whose names I do know. Thank you. And thank you to all of those whose families and friends have endured the greatest of losses. Thank you, too.
MEMORIAL DAY OBSERVANCES AND EVENTS ON THE ISLAND
Bar Harbor
A memorial day ceremony begins at 10 a.m., Monday, on the Village Green.
There will also be a Memorial Day observance, hosted by The Bar Harbor Garden Club, at the Blue Star Memorial Marker at 8:30 a.m. The marker is close to the head of the island on Route 3.
Northeast Harbor
The Northeast Harbor American Legion Post’s parade on Monday begins at 10:30 a.m. There will be a Veterans Memorial ceremony at the Northeast Harbor Marina.
Southwest Harbor
The town’s Memorial Day parade begins at 9 a.m., at Main Street and Seal Cove Road. Ceremonies commence at the parade’s end at the village green. It is sponsored by the American Legion and Auxiliary Eugene M. Norwood Post 69.
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Correction: Many apologies! I had my rights and lefts reversed when I labelled Bob and Robert’s photos. Sadly, I am way past kindergarten and still have issues with right and left! Thank you for letting me know.
Carrie, thanks for the article and for including the remembrances of your father.
Terry
Great stories, and well said. Thank you to all our Hero’s who have served our Country. 🇺🇸